Overall, I thought that Owen’s essay was strongly worded and he was going in the right direction. One thing I noticed, however, was that his paper was a bit short, which he had pointed out as well. I suggested that to fix this, he focuses on adding another body paragraph into his essay that explains another reason as to why physical therapy needs art incorporated sciences. I also suggested this because he only had two reasons as to why he needed art to become a physical therapist. I think it would also benefit him to add more quotes to his essay as a way to better explain his arguments. By adding more quotes, he will have more evidence to explain and go off on of how art is beneficial to his education. He should also focus on adding transition sentences between his body paragraphs so that his essay flows more smoothly. Lastly, I recommended that Owen expands on his conclusion, summarizing more on what he discussed in his paper and why he believes that art is beneficial to his career.
Your peer review looks like it’s on the right track. Continue to engage your peers’ texts with as many marginal quotes as possible. Great work!