Intro 1:
Our life is like a box of chocolates, no? You wake up everyday, not knowing what to expect but hoping, just hoping, that you’re day will go as great as if you were to blindly pick your favorite chocolate. Now take a minute and ponder over how this metaphor may have just influenced your thoughts. Am I really waking up everyday not knowing what to expect, just as a box of chocolates? It’s crazy isn’t it? Metaphors create this image in our heads that give us a new version of an idea/object that doesn’t seem to correlate at all, such as life and a box of chocolates. James Geary, Michael Erard, and Dhruv Khullar have all published their own ideas on how metaphors affect society’s everyday thinking. Geary uses examples such as Elvis Presley to catch his audience when describing how metaphors are created. Erard, metaphor designer, goes deeper into the creation of a metaphor explaining how they are created to force us to see both sides of a reality. On the other hand, Khullar connects metaphors to health studies as he leaves his audience to question whether it is morally okay to compare a chronic illness with war. Ultimately, all three authors come together to discuss the importance of metaphors in our daily lives, affecting us emotionally, and stimulating our thoughts.
Intro 2:
We often miss out on the small details in our lives which often have the greatest impact. The sunsets, the hellos and goodbyes, and most importantly, metaphors. Metaphors, as we commonly know them, are a tool used in English to compare to things. However, the meaning behind a metaphor can become so much deeper. In fact, there are metaphors all around us today that psychologically affect us without us even noticing. James Geary, Michael Erard, and Dhruv Khullar all talk about the effects that metaphors have on society and the deeper meaning that comes from their creation. Geary discusses how our brains translate a metaphor just hearing them. Erard discusses how designers make “pseudo-mistakes” in order to create a metaphor in which society will see both sides of something. Khullar on the other hand discusses the ways in which metaphors such as “this illness is a battle” can affect our health. Overall, the way in which we perceive metaphors may affect our emotions, visions of reality, and health.
One choice that worked very well was getting my attention in both drafts, especially the second one. Saying that we missed out on the small details made me want to read more of the article to see what I was missing out on, and once you told me I was hooked. One thing that could be improved on is having a clear thesis in the first draft. I would like to know what your thoughts on the three author’s works, and what you think about these metaphors.
In intro paragraph one, I liked the use of the chocolate metaphor. I feel it was a good way to jump into the topic without exposing your ideas yet. One thing I feel could be stronger is the thesis because I think it is important make sure the thesis is reflecting the ideas of the paper and your thoughts about the topic.
In intro paragraph two, I really like how you introduced each author in a short, yet precise sentence. It’s great to give the reader a bit of each article we read for background info! I think it could make your intro paragraph stronger if there were more transitions throughout the paragraph.